Perception Adjustment

I had a large family event yesterday. It's a regular occurrence. I've nominated myself as the person responsible for changing the culture in my family and keeping everyone together so I try to run a large event at least four times a year. There is a rhythm to the proceedings now after many years of trying to find my beat. Yesterday my father and stepmother attended. This is a rarity. He is a very grumpy angry man whose company is incredibly challenging to endure. However I unashamedly dangled the carrot of his very pregnant grand daughter to lure him here. I find my relentless commitment to obtaining his seemingly unattainable approval equal parts frustrating, nauseating and impressive. One of my friends yesterday is a seriously powerful deep tissue thai massage therapist. We call her the Princess of Pain. My grumpy old father who refuses to hug any of us not only allowed her to touch his head but massage various painful points on his face.

It was then I witnessed the miracle. 

He smiled instead of scowled. His face looked lighter and younger. He recounted funny stories from his childhood. He actually laughed - a sound I have not heard for decades. And he shared tales of my own birth with my children in the kindest most loving way I've never heard before. He and my mother divorced when I was 20 after a childhood of drama. Every memory of mine is filled with their war zone antics and it has been their relationship model that has haunted me my whole life. 

So you can imagine my surprise when I hear dear old dad speak of my mother in such loving glowing tones.

So I now question our perception as the divining rod in life. Have I painted a character and subsequent relationship portrait in certain colours based on behaviours ultimately driven by underlying unknown health issues?  Has my fathers demeanour and behaviour been influenced and coloured by an overwhelming long term pattern of survival pain? 

I wonder about how we judge others and we then therefore create these value structures in ourselves accordingly. I question the beliefs that we collect throughout our lives as factual. They can very easily be simply perceptions coloured by judgement - in short only one tiny part of a big picture.

I do not expect life or anyone in my life to be perfect. Of course to contrast I'm constantly working it out as I go along, I am the ultimate work in progress haha! :) I do believe however that we can have a relationship with pretty much anyone with shared values as long as the foundation to the structure of ourselves is sound. I think that I realise more and more though that my foundation in my twenties was based on the actions of a girl who had no idea what she wanted or who she was, who, in order to survive, simply made it up as she went along without truly considering the underlying structure driving the creation of her life. I was consistent in my efforts to prove that I was a better person than my parents and therefore was willing to tolerate more shit than you could imagine as a result of this misguided driving force in my life. 

So it's not about the person I perceive I'm in these relationships with. It's about my perception of the foundation of the relationship and the probability of being able to change the entire structure while still connected to that same person.

Thanks Dad for giving me much to consider x

Little Voice

In one moment of doubt, that tiny suppressed little voice jolts me out of my daydream and whispers about things I believe about myself

I'm not good enough

There is something wrong with me

I don't deserve anything good.

I leave myself open to being betrayed when I love

I don't have the ability to succeed in life

I am bad

I cannot be trusted

One day people will discover that I am a fraud.

I listen. I nod. I agree. Then I argue. Then I put that little voice back in her box where she belongs.

The Tale of the Pissing Lemmings

There are several layers of story in this particular tale and the media beat up was closer to a tampon ad than actual truth. For so very many reasons. public comment was not an option for us at the time. Suffice to say several neighbours in our street experienced similar horrors and police and ambulance were very busy that night so we were not the sole victims of some random incident. We were merely the more convenient poster children.

The next day was spent in lockdown trying to catch up on sleep after being in the ER for hours, desperately attempting to recover, continuing to work to crushing looming festival deadlines in the face of a chaotic and disturbing media circus. Our son dealt with reporters from 7am as they stalked and threatened and broke into our home and office with stealth and determination. That experience alone is a greater more compelling tale. And yes they continue to stalk us even now sniffing a story to leverage for whatever their latest agenda needs.

After another visit to the ER later that day for a suspected brain bleed was conducted as if we were the perpetrators trying to escape the prying eyes of the media. My husband took a serious beating and is still recovering. An unworldly Herculean strength took hold of me and somehow I was able to hold four men off with my broom stick saving him from being kicked in the head and suffering far more serious injuries.

It's a crazy funny vision - me being the ultimate witch using my broom stick for good instead of evil. I can laugh at it uncomfortably now weeks later however at the time I was bused myself with terror.

But when I consider these events closely I cannot find any good humour and simply shake my head in horror gleaning the real tragedy here. Mob mentality ruled and amid jeers of "kick her she's a blues supporter" to "It's Tony Abbots fault that we lost - just kill them" , hundreds of people witnessed us being attacked and none came to help. I've never been so ashamed of the human race.

Many of you know that I have crafted the public legend of the Pissing Lemmings as one lighter strategy to mitigate a long term ongoing dangerous situation that we residents have been managing on our own despite repeated requests for assistance from authorities. There are many elderly neighbours in our street who are terrified and no longer feel safe in their own homes. And why? No invading foreign army. No alien invasion. No state of emergency. Just mobs of Humans just like you and me who are so disconnected from nature that they behave like actual animals.

Cancel every public event. Place 100 police on every street corner. Close every hotel and bar. Instigate prohibition on alcohol. It would make no difference. This is not about alcohol or league fans or lack of funding for police resource but watch how this story will be manipulated for all those agendas. This experience demonstrates our unfortunate current social culture. I witness atrocities on social media daily. Ordinary everyday people expressing violence in the same manner. Instead of physically urinating on the home of another and exploding into violence when asked to stop they are mentally and emotionally defecating and exploding on the virtual space of others.  

The dark moon on Wednesday night 28 April 2014 was a powerful one. A time when there is no solar reflection of the moon and in this dark phase allegedly posing an energetic influence not unlike a seed laying dormant under the snow just waiting to burst forth in the spring melt. Ironically I was scheduled to attend a Dark Moon circle at Palm Beach that night however due to a relentless festival workload I had to remain at home and work late.

I feel quite literally woken up. I feel as if the seed laying dormant has bloomed into the tallest strongest oak tree that no one can possibly cut down. 

Those animals masquerading as humans have families, jobs, lives and are loved by their parents, partners and children. They are the face of US when we lose our connection to the light that connects us to each other. So many things in our current culture quest to divide us instead of connect. This sense of entitlement is seeping through our society on every level. When we focus on our own needs without even a thought for another, we become our own version of the pissing lemming. When I telephone the Brisbane City Council and complain about being fined for parking in my own front yard and lose my shit at the poor man taking the call who later tells me that he gets death threats just for doing his job then in that moment I am that same pissing lemming. My indignation about what I believe I'm entitled to disconnects me from reason and I unleash a mouthful of well articulated degradation and I contribute to the stress experienced by this employee simply following the process and doing his job. Who knows if my words won't be the straw that gives him a heart attack one day?

This same sense of entitlement causes people I would normally consider sane and intelligent into raving political commentators.

How did we get to this place where our behaviour is so disrespectful of the humanity of each other?

After the game, we neighbours took our positions as usual, to ensure the safety of residents walking back to their homes through the marauding pissing lemmings. Our hose was destroyed by the tradesman building our fence that morning. Something told me to hold a broom and just sweep the driveway until the lemmings left the area.

That broom saved my husbands life.

Prepare

Local community connections build relationships and networks that work together when needed like the physical body works together. Volunteering is important for everyone to do on a regular basis to train in an alternative structure to meet people outside your culture and value system to learn how to build a team regardless and to function under ineffective management and incomplete systems and poor processes. This way when a disaster hits you have developed the skills to do what is needed in a crisis. 2011 Brisbane floods mud army. 2012 hurricane sandy. Here is Australia we have bush fires floods cyclones annually. We don't face these alone. The local volunteer SES are vital in our survival and recovery. 

When you see international events like hurricane Katrina Fukushima Tsunami Typhoon Haiyan the great challenges are the delay in getting aid to those who need it as geography and destruction of infrastructure and death of so many including local volunteers that there is no easy way to coordinate help immediately. This happens the same way in our bodies. 

So if the best way to prepare for a crisis on earth is to connect and understand resource management build communities skill up on survival strategies and think global by acting local as a life practice a way of life then a similar approach to health like diet exercise network chiropractic and reorganisational healing of mind body emotions soul would be effective. Right?

The thing about a garden

The thing about a garden is multi dimensional and more often than not  about something totally foreign to traditional gardening. My grandparents were farmers and then in retirement gardeners. We stayed with them for a couple of years when I was a little girl. Each morning my Poppie would take me out in the back garden and would teach me the names of all the vegetables and herbs that he had planted and together we would water weed and harvest. The garden lay snugly under al large macadamia tree and was surrounded by a fence hanging with flowers and berries. In the afternoons my Grandma would take me through her garden and teach me the names of she flowers and shrubs, MIllie was all about beauty and Roy was all about function. 

Grandma has a tale relating to the people in her life to tell with each plant she introduced me to and Poppie regaled me with the general history of each plant. Each growing entity held a different meaning to each of my grandparents. It wasn't a garden it was a history lesson and a photo album and a story book of fairy tales and mythologies.

Now sitting in the Sound Garden 30 seconds away from my office I see profit and loss, marketing campaigns, economic structure, edifices of civilisation, human resource program's and market cycles. 

Without a constant strong connection to nature, it is all too easy to get caught up in the day to day ebb and flow of business. All it takes is five minutes to water and weed and harvest and I reconnect myself back to my big picture plan. I remember the cycles. I recall my vision. I reintegrate my goals and I recollect my courage and faith in myself to keep moving forward towards them. 

Imagine if every business had a garden - even just a couple of pot plants - to reconnect their teams back into the nature of what they are of there on the first place.

Weeds

Knowing nothing about a garden and wanting it done quickly I planted small plants without laying lime to balance pH, rocks, compost, fertiliser and straw. I wanted a fast quick fix. I wanted a sugar hit. So naturally of course some plants thrived and some died with plenty of weeds growing in the spaces between the plants. As the soil was healthy it also attracted weeds to grow. Now I have to spend more time digging weeding and fertilising and it is more challenging doing that around the plants than if I had laid a strong deep considered foundation from the beginning.

When I started my business 25 years ago I really knew nothing about business. I had performed my whole life as a singer and musician and apart two short stints working in the shop of my parents Shell Service Station on weekends and then for the Commonweal Bank as a teller and clerk, I had only ever worked in the music industry. I began to play piano at the age of three, from the age of eight was playing for the school morning assemblies, church organ on the weekends and singing, composing, arranging and directing the school and church choirs. My business knowledge was limited yet my desire to create a new option for performers in Queensland was stronger. I wanted it set up as quickly as possible so launched straight into it without systems or adequate knowledge. I winged it with hard work and determination. 

Very quickly weeds grew in the fertile soil of our business and we experienced many challenges that perhaps could have been avoided if we had installed deeper foundations in the first place. After 25 years we are still attracting those me weeds. Why? 

The basic alignments of values of true two business directors seem to be vastly at odds. Are they really or is my perception tainted by the culture from my parents in their own unique vision of relationship? Probably. Definitely. Maybe. 

I as a director have this opportunity to reframe my perceptions of my past to rewrite my own story of story. I am just as loved and wanted and believed in by my parents. They recognised my talents for organisation and gave me free reign. They felt no need to protect me as t hey trusted that I had an intelligence that could manage challenges well. I was left alone by the pedophile priests and I created projects and systems from a very young age. I was nurtured as a leader and a visionary by them. Hazel, Ron, Jenny, Eric, John, Michael, Millie and Kathleen all loved and valued me for being me without any changes. So have my kids and my friends. If I allow my old story to run my life then I devalue their love.

My professional team see my strength and vision and support that. My personal team see my heart and value that. I have been grown in two garden beds my entire life. I have opportunities that few have end from an early age and this will never stop.

What I need is time did space to heal physically and emotionally without being bound by obligation and criticism and ridicule and judgement. 

Wow so much to work on here 

Pests

When a garden soil is lacking in a certain nutrient it will attract pests that provide that in their excrement. 

Every pest highlights the void and lack in the garden so provides valuable feedback for ways to balance it and bring it to maximum growth potential.

With every business it will attract pesty customers and suppliers that provide what is missing in the same way. A supplier who doesn't understand how to read a contract or statement provides an opportunity for staff to learn how to explain in a user friendly layman terminology. Then the business can provide reference education and development opportunities in their systems to cater for this need. Some used in customer service, some as free promotional tools and then some to be sold as products.

Every pest is an opportunity for growth.

Anger

Yesterday we were jolted out of our busy ness by a loud violent exchange on the street just outside our office. A group of school kids were fighting. One of us stepped in and pulled them apart as the teachers run up to intervene. Whatever tensions were building inside, between or around these kids were expressed and given the opportunity to be released. Heated exchanges, threatening abusive words and violent physical punches created the classroom lesson for the day - for our business team, the neighbours and both the schools at the bottom of the street.

We all feel anger and we all have a need to express our rage. This is our nature. What strategies can we put in place to facilitate this expression?

This is less about the kids and more about all of us. This is feedback for a world in transition in a cycle of create and destroy.

Law suits, community groups, political lobbyists can easily leverage this experience to capitalise on a social issue. Through the ages at no time has this not been expressed or experienced. It is our nature.

Better out than in - that's what my Grandma always said. Get it out. Feel it. Say it. Let it out. Be listened to without judgement criticism or ridicule. Appreciate the expression form and teach our children how to be effective resource managers with their own shit so they can utilise it in their lives without shame. Lopsided perspectives where there is a victim a perpetrator and a hero room the basis of our heroes journey mythology and is the key to our function as consumers. 

If we teach our kids how to process their own nature imagine - if they could learn to use their power for good instead of evil :) - woe imagine what the could achieve.