Here for the Food

One of my clients said recently how angry he was with himself that no matter how much work he “did on himself” there was still “shit” in his life. How many of us have felt like that on occasion? My client was feeling frustration about his physical appearance. He wanted to bulk up and increase his fitness and felt that no matter what he did with diet and exercise, he could not gain control over his external aesthetic. Ha – how many of us have also felt like that? :-)

Knowing who we are won’t get rid of the “shit”. “Doing work on ourselves” won’t get rid of it either. We’ll all still swim between the flags of nice and mean, kind and cruel and experience pleasure and pain. However understanding WHAT drives us, HOW we make our choices, HOW we resolve tension and WHAT we value takes us closer to the APPRECIATION of Self. Ah there’s that “attitude of gratitude” we hear Demartini talk about.

Human BE HAVE IOUR – where am I “BE ing” what am I “DO ing” and therefore what do I “HAVE” as a result of my actions? Our last exercise used the recent Christmas event as a benchmark of Self Assessment. Asking “quality of questions” - drilling down to what your life truly demonstrates often further uncovers your hierarchy of values as they currently are and not as you would like them to be. (I’ve noticed that many of us can confuse a “wish list” with our values.

We all eat – so looking at our relationship with food – will highlight various aspects of our Values that we may otherwise fantastise.

For many people, meals are all about entertainment and social interaction. Finding a fab restaurant, being seen in the right spot and dressing for the occasion is more important than the GI content of the meal. For others, mealtimes are an opportunity for family to sit down together – to connect and share. For others, they wine and dine their clients on a regular basis and do most business over their meals – Coffee, Lunch and Cocktails. Some will spend all day creating culinary masterpieces carefully selecting the finest of ingredients, decorating their tables and creating a gourmet feast for their loved ones. Others may run through their busy hectic lives and grab whatever food is around at the time as a last minute thought. Some people find food a distraction and countdown to mealtimes while salivating madly in anticipation. Others still may have a disciplined relationship with food and research nutrition, understanding how the ph balance works and only eat foods that keep them in balance – spending hours on shopping, preparation and investing in more expensive “healthier” options. Some people have the best intentions and purchase all the ingredients required to cook nutritiously for themselves only to throw most of it out six months later as something always seems to “come up” leaving them no time to cook. Some people get headaches at certain of each day and “need” a certain food or drink to “pep” them up and help them to survive the 3pm slump. Many people buy take away food on a regular basis as they “feel” good when they eat it. Some eat when happy; others when sad and tired while some starve themselves as either a reward or punishment.

The HOW and the WHY and the WHO and the WHAT and the WHEN of our relationship with FOOD really help to show another angle to our story.

Ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you have a kitchen where you live and do you use it or do you eat out more often than not?2. What do you think about Food? Is it fuel, fun or a burden?
3. If money were no object how would you eat?
4. What is your favourite food?
5. What is your favourite food related activity? (Cooking, Shopping, Preparation, Presentation, Cleaning Up, Going out, Time with Family etc)
6. What does your kitchen look like? (Especially inside the kitchen cupboards)
7. How do you spend your time eating?
8. How do you spend your energy shopping for food?
9. Do you shop in your budget or according to your nutritional needs?
10. What determines your budget choices?
11. Do you plan your meals or scavenge what you can at the last minute?
12. Are you frugal or extravagant?
13. Do you believe that you are what you eat or do you believe the body can consume any matter?
14. Do you know how your body digests food or would you rather leave that to an expert?
15. Do you dress for dinner at home – dress the table – and regard mealtimes with respect?
16. Did you plan your shopping with a list?
17. Do you have a plan for meals, nutrition and your physical body?
18. If you are hungry when you shop for food do you stick to your list or do you deviate?

How many of us have a plan, a set budget and a vision of what we want to achieve and get to the store, fridge, table and meal and do something completely different? Then we beat ourselves up and ask “Why did I do that” Why did I eat that chocolate cake?” Or why did I work through my day without eating and go to bed hungry AGAIN?

We’ll all still swim between the flags of nice and mean, kind and cruel and experience pleasure and pain. However appreciating the patterns that underly our choices that our story continues to make will help us to dissolve our fear, guilt and shame when it comes to our relationship with food giving us greater opportunities to integrate the mirrors of our bodies with our personal holographic journeys.

Ultimate Wonder of the World

Travelling throughout the globe exposes us to the ancient and modern man made and natural wonders of the world. Infused between religion, mythology, art, nature, and science, we marvel at the great pyramid of Giza, Stonehenge, the Great Wall of China, Taj Mahal, Grand Canyon, Machu Picchu and Everest.

Yet the ultimate wonder of the world, the human body, requires no passport, travel insurance or first class ticket. There is no need to queue for access to view this wonder as we take it with us wherever we go. Look closely at its refined construction and intricate detail. We are the finest examples of design and craftsmanship incorporating elements from every architectural style. Our bodies are museums preserving history and culture in temples housing the most magnificent sacred beings.

Imagine taking a vacation to visit this wonder and researching, visiting, admiring and photographing as if on a guided tour to a sacred site on a one in a lifetime trip. What would you see? What would you appreciate?

How often do we look at ourselves in the mirror and play the “I AM” game? I am fat. I am wrinkled. I am freckled. I am tall. I am ugly. What are we seeing to play that game?

Let’s start with the definition of a game. Known to have been played as far back as prehistoric times, games are a universal part of human experience and present in all cultures. A game is an activity with some rules engaged in for an outcome.

Who wrote those rules for what a human body should look like?

My facilitator brain tells me that my body is perfectly in balance. I accept that for the comfort it provides me. As I also know that my body contains thousands of systems, logic dictates that these systems maintain equilibrium. But how about when I look in the mirror? What do I see?

Like most human beings, I see someone else’s value system looking back at me in disapproval. I see everything I dislike about my physical structure. There are things I DO like about my body however I never see them first. Why is that?

When we do a love list for our bodies, we get the opportunity to really see every part of our physical structures. In listing what we love we get to experience the beauty of us in those parts. In listing what we do NOT love we get the opportunity to appreciate the benefits of those perceptions.

For example. I am fat. I am. My body carries a protective layer of extra fat. I do not like it. How can I appreciate the beauty in that? Ugh

To start with, was I always fat? No. I have been beautiful and thin. What changed? I felt threatened, in danger and in need of protection. Various events at a critical time in my life reinforced my particular mythology of not being safe and since then I have maintained this protective layer to look after me. Where did this mythology come from? Like every other human being - my birth.

My mythology – my theology – is that I am the protector, the warrior, Penthesilea and Boedicia – an Amazon who fights battles, protects, comforts, nurtures, preserves, serves, saves and loves fiercely. The language that I use in my everyday life provides clues to this myth if you listen closely enough.

Whatever the story is, you and I have both made it up – it is an assumption, a perception, a belief – a mythology. Yet we carry this mythology within our bodies as a museum preserves its history and experience. Our perceptions filter from our senses. If we chose to create this mythology, it is only because our senses identified a need to do so in the first place.

So we have our mythology. How do we therefore appreciate the history of our physical structure?
When did it feel good to be protected?
The comfort in the Tim Tams I ate.
What were the benefits to me in this protection?
I was protected from further sexual harassment while I was gigging and broke a very dangerous sexual addiction which I was very uncomfortable about within myself.
How has this served me?
I stayed in my business, marriage, home and family life instead of running away with various men whose offers of adventure and romance would have previously been irresistible.
How has this enabled me to receive?
Time for relationships with my children, love from my family and friends, financial security, business opportunities and inspiration and motivation for my various academic, creative, spiritual and artistic pursuits.
How has this afforded me the opportunity to play?
Staying in the same space and time for the development of relationships has provided me with a deep foundation in my business and finances which in turn has provided me with the freedom to travel wherever and whenever I want.
How has this helped me to participate?
Just by being here I have participated in the many lives of the people around me: children, parents, family, friends, staff, networks and communities.
How has this opened my heart?
My heart has guided me through various emotional challenges and the many perceived rejections because of my self judgment about my external aesthetics have provided me with the opportunity of truly opening my heart to myself.

This fat has kept me safe, comforted, protected, present and real. It has kept me here in this space. How could I not feel gratitude for this gift that I have given myself? I would not change one moment of my fat experience. I greatly value and appreciate it. Being fat has not detracted from my beauty at all in fact I love my face more now. I’m not bony and hard and brittle. I am soft, mushy, comfortable and sexy as hell. Having a fatter body is also pretty hot while making love – very horny and a major turn on. (Yep thats way too much information)

Creation is dualistic in nature therefore the pendulum also swings the other way and there are just as many things that I appreciate and love about my body. Identifying these things I love and feeling grateful for them opens my heart. Opening your heart has a physical affect on your molecular structure. You feel better. You feel lighter. When you are light, the energy around you flows through you. You become a part of everything.

"Everything is dual; everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; like and unlike are the same; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree; extremes meet; all truths are but half-truths; all paradoxes may be reconciled." -The Kybalion.

No matter who you are, you have things you like and dislike, or even admire and despise about yourself. Both things you like and dislike are going to serve you in your life, and the wisdom is appreciating this balance and being grateful for it. Our bodies are museums preserving history and culture in temples housing the most magnificent sacred beings. To love it is to appreciate what is assumed to be attractive and repulsive and simply salute the god and goddess within yourself and BE.