No Compass

What does it mean when we feel our molecules reorganize in the presence of another?

Joy fills the heart like melting icicles streaming fresh water down a glacier that just happens to wake up and find itself in an outback desert in the middle of nowhere.

What deep soul recognition makes one face more familiar than another?

How can breath be taken away just by framing that one person in the mind?

When common sense says no yet every cell says yes- what is that?

What beauty is so profound within us that we see it in another face?

What light is so blinding that we feel overwhelmed by it in another heart?

Have you ever felt like your head admonishes and judges you? It is as if you can hear a voice booming from your past  “You are foolish girl" and it resounds on a continuous loop.

Have you ever had so many butterflies in your stomach  with goose bumps opening every pore of your skin as you step into some great unknown as if an intrepid explorer on a journey through an undiscovered naked jungle?

Instead of knowing and making something happen, how does it feel to sit in tension observing yourself being pulled in and pushed away in a constant ebb and flow?

Like waves of an incoming tide each pull comes closer until each breath matches each heart beat.

Have you ever felt like you are in a deep warm azure ocean both floating at peace yet struggling to stay afloat? Bubbles surge and billow around you cushioning and moving you this way and that.

Have you ever wondered why you attract the hard and not the easy? Is this hard or is the perception that it is hard simply a trick of the light?

Where is it easy?

Have you ever wondered why you throw yourself into deep ends of the impossible instead of staying in a safe certain shallow end. Is this swimming or drowning?

Have you ever felt totally unhinged, uncertain, exposed and afraid - of the YOU that you see in another?

I have no compass for this.

So why do I feel like I am defying gravity?