Playing the Game

Truly great leaders will always be both popular and unpopular at various times in their service.
The response of the people is a reflection of the values that fuel the people not the leader.
Similarly the response of the media is a reflection of the values that drive the media not the leader.

In these times it is clear that the media are fueling a never ending chasm of polarity in the masses. Their polarized perspective is reflected in the results of one term governments because we live in an age of immediate gratification.

The electorate is divided into two classes - those who ask themselves "What do I need? What action can I take to fill this need myself? and those who ask "Look what you didn't give me" and "When where what and how much are you giving me"

It's a difference between one class who expresses gratitude and value for what they have so they can build on that and the other class who complains about their unfulfilled expectation and criticism about what they don't have.

Those who save (long term) and those who spend (short term). Creators and Consumers.

The reality is that for a country and its businesses to survive we need consumers. Each polarity is linked and connected in a survival dynamic.

We live in an age where everyone is an expert thanks to Google. The perception is that long term investment in education and building of networks no longer has a value thanks to the World Wide Web.

Anyone can set up their own blog site and promulgate any targeted campaign of words they choose. Few fact check and looking deeper and asking questions is deemed unnecessary in this age of instant access.

In the movie Queen Victoria, Prince Albert advises " learn to play the game better than anyone else".

Wise Words.

The Soundtrack Of My Life

Our memories connect themselves to the music that was playing in those moments. Collections of moments that string together a symphony for our lives.

Waterfalls reminds me of my dear Uncle John.
Who let the Dogs Out takes me back to my first time in LA - dirty filty horrible place that it was.
Defying Gravity transports me into Central Park in New York.
Anything by Nickelback and I'm back into a melancholy past relationship.
The moan of Evanessence and I translate a catalog of pissed off chick moments.
System of A down  - Aerials - and I'm considering Life's many conspiracy theories. 
If I want my body to feel healthy anything by Bach or Beethoven achieves that.
Stand out moment in New York was at Carnegie Hall watching the Boston Symphony Orchestra perform Beethoven's 6th and 7th Symphonies. 
My son Sam reminded me of the beauty of classical music in his obsession to play fur Elise note perfect. 
I gigged for many years and sang thousands of songs yet the only song that truly takes me back to those days is anything from Manhattan Transfer. Weird because I was primarily the rock chick.
Two Fat Ladies sung by Noni Hazelhurst and I'm a young mama with four babies.
Video Killed The Radio Star takes me back to the full on decade of gigs for TAJA and LEXIE where our whole family lived the journey with them in the rehearsal room, recording studio and stage.
Happy by LEXIE and I'm at my daughter's wedding and I remember how proud I am of my brood.

Toto Africa reminds me of my first honeymoon. 
Bryan Adams Everything I Do reminds me of my second. 
Traditional Turkish and Middle Eastern music sets my soul on fire. 
Pavarotti singing Puccini take me back to Florence. 
The Killers return me to Covent Garden in London.
Anything by Queen and ELO and I'm 12 again and singing under my paren'ts house into a brush.
Kate Bush and I'm that beautiful muse inspiring songs and recordings and all the stuff that goes into your first album.
The Pogues transport me back to Dublin.
It Feels LIke Xmas from the Muppets and I'm in the Christmas Spirit! 


All I need is music and I'm back in those moments.

I Can't Wait

I used to say to myself 

"I can't wait until they sleep through." 
then 
"I can't wait until they start solids." 
Then 
"I can't wait until they start crawling/walking." 
Then
" I can't wait until they start school." 
Then
"I can't wait until they can drive."
Then
"I can't wait until they go to Uni."
Then
"I can't wait until they leave home so I can get my house back."

In what seems like five minutes, UNI is done, they have moved out and you are living in a house that seems like a bit of a ghost town with imprints of all these memories in every room and you think to yourself:

"I can't wait until they visit." 

It goes by so very fast. 
It's one blink in one eye.
It's the best experience you can ever have and the greatest job EVER!!! xxx

Screen Time

Last night as we went to bed I couldn't help but notice a rather disturbing habit. My husband and I dressed in our PJs, sitting up in bed looking at our phones. Occasionally changing it up to look at my IPad as well.

So I switched both my screens off and read a book. Opening up the doors to the bedroom I perched myself outside on an old wooden bench to read my book under the stars. And as I looked up I saw the most magnificient screen ever created. :-)

Sigh. My whole body just relaxed and let go.

Out under the stars, with a slight breeze whispering through the tall avocado tree on my left and the new fresh leaved Mulberry tree on my right, I began to feel connected. Connected to Nature, connected to my life and connected back to me - my own heart.

I sat out there for a couple of hours just swooning under the moonlight and drowning in the deliciousness of my book. It was pure bliss.

And then it was morning and the first thing we both did was check our phones. I noted that this actually took a good 30 minutes of our precious time that we could have spent together doing other things. :-) During this time, 6.30 am, work emails flowed through and with catch up of international news on Google News and then a few rounds of my Facebook feed and it was 7am before I knew it.

We showered and dressed and I swear if there was a TV screen in our bathroom we would have watched it. Upstairs for breakfast and update before the work day begins and then we go our separate ways.

He in his car to the office where he will field 20 phone calls on the way. Me to start mine by you guessed it switching on the TV as I finish my makeup - a mindless activity that I've grown accustomed to doing in front of the big screen each day to multi task. 

Yet today I felt quite antsy and couldn't settle down to sit in front of yet another fake screen of reality. 

So I took myself out on the deck and looked out over our backyard where my mind had nothing to do but soak in the view of the mountains to my west and the Jacarandas to my east. Sigh. I felt my body slip into ease and my schlumpy shoulders arched and straightened in relief.

I thought to myself ' I have to walk away from this beauty and peace and go and sit in my office for the next eight hours in front of another fake screen." "In seemingly foreign lands, I have to navigate my way through the quagmire of HAVE TO emails and wade through everyone else's emergencies. Me and that fake screen of unreality."

I couldn't do it. Instead I walked downstairs and out the back and sat in amongst the tomatoes and the zucchinis in my vegie patch and dug my bare feet deep into the rich dark soil. I brushed the tops of the tall sturdy rosemary bushes and inhaled the wispy lavender that lined the path to my clothes line. I spent time unravelling the new Jasmine fronds heavy with new flowers rich with scent that wound their way around the bay tree nearby.

My heart longed to hop in the car and drive to the bush close to my house so I could breathe in the eucalyptus and rub my face against its bark. It craved the crisp thin air at the top of a mountain looking down on the farms and valleys below worn by weather in its shadow. It begged me to drive to the ocean and sit on the cool white sand watching the green and white curls ebbing, flowing and smashing in turn on the beach. It dreamed of a childhood spent in red soil and parched plains under a hot unforgiving desert sun. 

But as much as I love listening to my heart, there is work to be done today and every day. And I wondered how many other people get so used to their daily screen time that they forget about the real screen that waits for them outside? How many other people get so used to the illusory connection on line that they forget what it feels like to be connected back to nature, back to life and back to their own hearts?

So from this moment, I made a plan - my screen time was to be scheduled to be balanced between the reality of my fake work screen and my REAL screen - which is just outside my door. A screen that won't hurt my eyes, isn't radioactive and reconnects me to my soul. 

How will my work life cope with such an inconvenience I ponder?

Namaste. x

Bully for Me

It is easy to judge a bully.But what if we ask these questions of ourselves:Where do we bully?Why do we bully?How does it feel to bully?How does it feel to be bullied? Well most of us remember that one from school however more and more people are feeling it in the workplace as adults.

Someone once told me that there were many benefits for people who had been bullied. Now before you get your knickers tied in a twist pull yourself out of the emotion and observe.

Leaders grow as a result.
Followers grow.

Fear is the greatest motivator as it kicks us into the survival adrenaline.Where is it beneficial to live in survival mode?If children feel weak this assists them to find their source of strength.Bullies need conspirators who align for safety.

You know where you see this most? BUSINESS......

Hang out in a customer service environment and witness a parade of bullies. Those who are ready for a fight regardless of the situation can bully the person at the end of the telephone who hasn't caused the problem but who has to stand in a torrent of abuse from a customer who has decided that no matter what they are being ripped off.

Talk to someone who works in a Service Department for a White Goods store.

Bullying is a complex intricate system incredible in it's ability to achieve it's goals and visions. Clear in its mission, the campaign of a bully is driven by a story so powerful they have attributed their power source to an external source. The bullying victim holds that power. 

People pay a fortune to Personal and Business Development Seminars around the globe to learn a strategy in how to get what they want.

Bullies at school are already conscious of this strategy and using it to get what they want from a variety of sources.

If only we could use their power for good instead of evil. :-)

Your Reflection

It's time for you to tune into the reflection of you- your nature - through the external mirror of nature the world around you according to the perception and the meaning you allocate.

Go outside to a place where you feel connected. To a place where the universe flows through you and you feel like you are a part of everything.

Collect 7 items that you feel drawn to. Don't question. Note the order in which you collect

Describe in detail each item
Tune into the description and articulate the significance for your story right now. Then note what the message is from each item.

Each item will relate to each area of life.

Finance where you value earn save create cushions invest and risk external resource

Physical where you do the same internally and around you

Knowledge where you collect information that influences internally what you create and express

Community where you influence externally build connections like bridges to feed business and relationship

Business the vehicle for external relationships where you serve in the value of resource internal and external utilizing the value of ur internal and external communication and connection

Relationships where you connect mirror and serve internally

Spiritual the structure of your beliefs your perceptions and your stories that fuel all of the above experiences in resource connection and communication

everything is
Exchange
Trade
Currency


Aristotle noted how our perceptions of our nature was a reflection of the nature all around us and the structures we put into place and subsequent behaviors that followed were based on this hermetic principle. As without so within. As above so below.

We can google anything these days. Information about all the how tos of business, marketing, finance, relationship, community, education, health and belief structures is freely available for all.

We can craft a vision of what we desire in our lives we can set up the fantasy of this vision and we have access to every single action step that is required to make that fantasy a reality. Yet time and time again the oscillation of the stories that we identify with hook us into behavioral patterns that are strategically buried so deep that we no longer consciously know which story is driving which behavior or perception.

The higher part of us expertly creates external circumstances to give us the opportunity to rewrite these old stories. So like Joseph campbells Heros journey our stories give us opportunity to face dragons cross thresholds and follow calls to action.

Some stories like health or finance the resource in our lives for without either it is challenging to move out of mazlows survival part of the pyramid, these stories are powered with urgency and propel us out of the much coveted love tos that new age culture indoctrinates us about into have tos.

Before enlightenment chopping wood carrying water
After enlightenment chopping wood carrying water

Imagine our body without all it's systems? One big blob of jelly. I imagine that that is us when we face our dragons and our stories. We cant function. We focus on the pain perception of what we think we know of our stories and we forget about the ease. We still have to chop wood so this is the time to put a structure in place.

We can judge anything as good or bad yet they are simply all structures designed to provide certainty significance growth variety comfort safety -  everything that is deemed healthy and sensible can be gained by every experience.

Conservation of all traits and dynamics

So we while we face the dragons of old stories and rewrite footprints in the sand we still have to chop wood and carry water.

Know what's important to you
Link the benefits of the action steps required to get you from fantasy to reality to what's important to you.

The stories that you market on the surface will not be the driving forces behind the choices you make in the action that you take. They are the camouflage. When we blame others we are the child in our own story. When a story about other people is told again and again this feedback that the story is based on perception of an experience between birth and eight years of age.

We will always have a story told by our child. Conserved. Child like wonder is one story. Innocence in no sense in no judgement.

Shame is feedback for an important story. We measure ourself against someone else's standards values and ultimately story.

Shame and Blame hold much power. That's power we can use to fuel our action steps.

So this is our process

What do we perceive that we value now
What is the vision for our life
What is the action that we need to take
What are the oscillating stories that stop our action
What are the advancing stories that fuel our action
Create a structure to chop wood and carry water while we face the dragons of our stories to dissolve shame and blame and transform oscillations into advancement all the while valuing and appreciating that oscillations are important functions of everything in nature.

 We keep telling it and maintain our behavior accordingly then we don't dissolve that shame. It continues to run our lives. It holds it's power. Yet if we trust ourselves enough to be stripped bare

One Side at a time

It's like whenever I make a statement I am only ever really showing one side at a time. To answer completely is almost schizophrenic as there are so many voices with opinions on every single subject.

I change structure and it is like moving furniture around and it doesn't stop the longing. My question is - what the hell is the longing and will it ever go away? Do you feel like that too? My heart is constantly wanting to be in three different places and a big part of me believes that if I lived in Italy and New York I would STILL long for something else. 

Are we designed to long always ? Is it possible to ever feel complete and at ease and in the right place? OR is there something wrong with me? Am I the only person who feels so incomplete and so wistful about the things that she wants but never feels like she can go after them otherwise so many people will be hurt and maybe just maybe I shouldn't trust myself?

So many programs tantalize us with slogans of following our hearts however do they actually work or are they designed for income as all business is and we put our trust and faith consistently in an external source in order to find our answers?

And as I write this all the voices with other opinions scream at me that what I just wrote isn't the whole story.

Ok everyone - only one side of me can feel fucked up at a time - take your turn! :-)

Yet I Am

I don't have time to feel that right now so I'm putting it away somewhere safe well secured and out of mind while I focus on what's more important - my business, my family, whatever drama is unfolding around me. As long as I feel needed. As long as I feel as if I have a purpose, I am ok. Putting out bush fires is second nature and the hit I get instead of caffeine or sugar.

I have fueled my body for the short term lurching from crisis to crisis justifying that there is no time for my body as this other drama holds far more value. So nutrition and core strength exercise consistently building to value my body longevity has been easily dismissed in the "I'm strong I can put myself last again this thing deserves more attention than me. I am more powerful than most people. My super powers keep me alive so I can keep others alive. (with the dangerous unsaid sub text always hanging in the air mocking all around) My body has kept me alive. The masculine hero on the white horse rescuing me from fire flood disaster time and time again. Shifting physical molecular breakdown centimeter by centimeter year by year through all the physical systems each sharing the burden of my defiance until one by one they stop no longer able to find that sliver of movement to carry just one more thing.

My whole being is heavy in burden. I carry the weight of the world and I display my feat for all the world to marvel and admire. "I don't need assistance like everyone else does. I'm not a victim. I'm self sustaining. I'm not a burden on my family community or society."

Yet I am.

Everything I have judged about others viewed as weaker than I am - starting and ending with my mother - I am the same.

My expression is secreted under layers of control holding my shame and pain deep within so no one sees just how much sacrifice I make.