The Artist Within

I have had an invitation to paint with Donna Hawkins for years. Having never painted a stroke in my life other than a few rooms in my house and a back fence that still doesnt forgive me  I always appreciated and admired art. Yet – I was always too busy to make that date. And when I finally made a few dates, something always came up to prevent me from going – something more important to do or some event or situation stopping me.


An eclipse over the June full moon was predicted for the day I finally arrived at Donna’s studio. Emotional, exhausted and carrying a veritable library of work and life stories that were weighing heavily on me, I dragged myself out of my car and starting blubbering the minute Donna opened the door. I was so emotional that day perhaps sensing it was a good day to express myself!! 



The Artist Within workshop actually began OUTSIDE of the studio as Donna calmly and quietly, using a variety of tools, facilitated me into a starting point. I had no idea what to expect and like a general going in battle, I would usually send my Control Freak troops in to secure the perimeter, establish a structure and get a system up and running to commence. However Donna asked me to take a leap of faith in her process so the General, Miss Control Freak and several of my story army were asked politely to sit outside in the sun away from the studio.


I entered as my own blank canvas.


In childbirth, you go through pain on every level and then suddenly a baby looks up at you and it’s like they’ve been there your whole life. You cannot imagine what life was like without them. The most incredible part of the Artist Within workshop is the experience of witnessing the birth of a painting which now seems like such a part of you. A miracle of your own creation stares you in the face and you wonder why you questioned yourself about so much of your life when “Look what you created!” when you finally let go and just let your heart do what it wanted.


As a CEO, I have programmed myself to operate exclusively in logic so the beginning of the workshop where my heart had the reigns was intoxicating and freeing. I was mesmerized by the experience of just adding whatever colour I wanted without having to conform to any sort of benchmark. When it came time to add form to my canvas, my logic kicked back in and I became frozen in a sea of panic. How could I possibly ruin this colour by making a decision that would change its form? How could I choose? What if it wasn’t perfect? I have no skill. I have no training. I can’t do this – it will not meet standards or expectations.


Without Donna’s masterful facilitation and guidance there is no way I would have finished that painting. I would have left it as colour without form and then labeled the experience as “me having no artistic ability” and further evidence that I should stick to what I know. In my head, the painting morphed through images of a peacock, angels dancing over the ocean, a broken heart, fire and an opening bud until with Donna’s encouragement I turned the canvas on its side and a self portrait of beauty finally emerged.


Experiencing the pain of facing my giant fear of failing – my dragon – then pushing through to the other side of it while creating something of beauty in the process was one of the most valuable lessons I have ever experienced. I saw myself as greater than the current “How” I was. I saw how taking a leap of faith in myself and trusting my heart wasn’t as hard as I first imagined. I saw the potential (outside of my logical structure) for creation in the blank canvas that is my life and suddenly felt great excitement at that prospect. I saw how all the challenges that my business experienced with its human resource, customers, suppliers and alliance partners were all rooted in that same perception of fear that I experienced when faced with taking myself out of my so called comfort zone and jumping into the deep end of my heart. Sinking or swimming merged into the one experience. 


Neither was good or bad. Both were simply another experience. Instead of focusing on what I didn’t know, I listened to my heart and created a possibility and then a work of art. For someone who cannot even colour in between the lines, this artistic expression was such a liberating experience.


Why?


I focused on a creation instead of a solution and directed my gaze from a whole new angle.
A solution based enterprise is limited to the problem and as such has a limited shelf life. For any business to continue to offer creative opportunities to clients, they need a team of people willing to turn the canvas on its head and see something new. These are the people that you trust to serve your customers – the very reason for you to have a business in the first place.


What will the canvas of your business look like?